We all want to feel "good". So why does feeling lonely feel so "bad"? Let's walk through the sequence of events that results in the feeling of being lonely.
Loneliness is rooted in us facing ourselves. We are searching for something permanent; some reassurance that our life is valid. And our self-concept is derived from our interactions with others. We require reflection to determine if our life is indeed valid. So, when we experience loneliness we are facing impermanence. We are staring into the void.
The vastness of our souls as connected to infinite time and space are juxtaposition to the mortal body we inhabit. In fact, many of us choose to live between worlds by using substances that numb our bodies. We are attempting to make the limitations of the flesh diffuse. So, we smoke, drink, and manipulate our nervous system with food and drugs. Our orgasms often ride the edges of trading bliss for injury. That is to say, we give of our life force in order to feel vital. It's the great paradox.
So, loneliness is a symptom of an existential awakening. It's aches.
And if we place ourselves in the witness seat, we observe our impulses, we will become aware of how we react to pain. Most of us will attempt to fill the void. To this point, I witnessed myself binge watching a TV show called "Affair". And I was watching it as a form of socialization. It was the closest to "touch" that I could muster.
And loneliness comes in many forms. It shows up when we are single as the lack of touch. It shows up as resentment when we are married but with a partner who is blinded by their self-preservation. It presents as self-abandonment or rejection when we expect more from ourselves than our lives than we have invested. In other words, we feel like losers because we are not "getting the results" we want. But, this preoccupation with outcomes often results in repeating the process over and over. We become encapsulated by our disassociations and become identified with the narrative that "I'm the only one lost inside my life." This hurts so we make ourselves busy and further reinforce the existential split from creation.
Now is where I tell you how to face loneliness.
You must create. You must dance. You must paint. You must write. You must participate in the vital production of art. You must create more than you consume. Because creative energy always replenishes the person doing the creating. It is how we reconcile the void. It's how we make sense of life.
And on a practical note, people who use drug to try to escape life have failed themselves. They become consumed by the void and treat loneliness as an enemy instead of an ally. When you intend on living life to the fullest, then you divorce these zombies. And if you catch yourself becoming a zombie, then you snap out of it through movement.
Loneliness is awareness of your existence. If you deny this awareness, you deny your life. You invalidate your existence.
So, the next time the ache of loneliness rises inside of your body, create. Don't reach for you lover. Don't drink alcohol. Don't get lost in nostalgia.
Instead, be with yourself. Sit inside the vastness of your pure potential. Stay there until you feel and understand that the essence of life is love. Love is infinite. It is a wellspring. Breath.
You will die. Rest in this fact.
Loneliness is asking you to make a deeper commitment to your life.
Face it. And smile.
If you need guidance to alchemize pain, please reach out to me. I'm one of a few people on this planet that can help you embrace freedom now.