 Why start that business?
Why bother going to college? Why attempt to get into a romantic relationship? What’s this all for anyway? These are valid questions. We know the punchline to life—death. Yet very few have figured out the point of truly living. In the South, life is about Jesus, family, and career. But why those priorities, and why in that order? Christians have contributed to global culture, with 63% of Americans identifying as Christian . This means a record number of people place their bets on the afterlife—heaven—as the ultimate plan B. But if plan B overshadows plan A, we’re headed for mediocrity. The saying “Failing to plan is a plan to fail” rings true. But the real question is: What are you planning for? What’s the point? Let’s examine the second American priority: family. Did you know around 40% of families are blended ? Meanwhile, the nuclear family—a couple and their children, the so-called bedrock of society—makes up only 18% of U.S. households . Frankly, this is extremely upsetting. What does this imply? That people who can’t keep their vows are out there raising kids in broken homes, normalizing dysfunction. Divorce is twice as likely in blended families, and we wonder why society’s crumbling. The “family” value so many cling to? It's bullshit. As a second-generation Italian, I was raised with the belief that “Blood is thicker than water.” You live and die for your family. But let’s be real—boys with just enough sense to cum but not enough to stay and be fathers are ruining lives. And that’s not about race—it’s about men who run from responsibility. It's pathetic. So, what’s the point of life? Is it all about career? Heaven does exist on earth—in the form of opportunities. Most opportunities come through two channels: money or relationships. Money accelerates success; relationships test endurance. But money often outlasts relationships, depending on our relationship with money. So, is money the point of life? Yes. Let’s revisit the claim, “My relationship with God gets me through life.” The church's marketing has masked some sinister truths. Its persistent message of hope—intangible “forgiveness/blood”—and its tax-exempt status prop up the Evangelical Industrial Complex. Organized Religion is a business, plain and simple. The Church wouldn't survive without funding. And those humans “doing good” often have access to resources. Of course, dear reader, you are entitled to your opinion but it won’t do you much good if you are lacking stability. What is the pinnacle resource few achieve in this life? A happy, secure family. But that family isn’t possible without money. Financial instability destroys rational thought. A person who can’t solve problems with their mind becomes the problem, even dangerous. So, we “do things” to “earn money.” That money supports the family, that family supports the church, and the church reinforces hope. Heaven becomes our behavior modifier, giving us the fulfillment we crave—if we’re not screwed over by people who reject God and heaven, or worse, those who claim to believe but still betray us. Then what? We lose trust. Which brings us full circle—back to making money to afford therapy, to heal, to trust again, so we can make better decisions. Those decisions shape our experiences. You get the picture. God is good. But you need to prioritize who you are going to be in this lifetime, and whether that identity will earn you legacy money. That’s the kind of wealth that changes the world, funds universities, and creates opportunities to experience everything life has to offer. I’m not done. I’m not abandoning you at this point in the article like other guru’s do in order to set you up for a “sale”. I’m here to tell you the real secret: Attraction beats promotion. You choose a skill set in an industry. Then you dominate that space. There are winners and losers in life. Winning once and taking home the trophy isn’t enough—you’ve got to live to win, or you die trying. And winning attracts everything you want in life as well as what you need because winning is a devotional act. I don’t work with losers. I don’t work with the broke. I don’t resurrect the broken because that’s an illusion constructed by the ego in order to garner sympathy as a substitute for empowerment! Hence, I don’t “fix” people, which has become an industry standard. What I do is grab the competitor by the neck, scream a warrior’s battle cry in their face, and feed them the strategy they need to become a living legend that will leave a rich legacy. Don’t tell me what you care about—show me you want to win. The stats cited come from the following sources: 1. 63% of Americans identifying as Christian: This comes from Pew Research Center, which regularly surveys religious affiliation in the U.S. 2. 40% of families are blended: This statistic can be attributed to a report from the Stepfamily Foundation, which monitors family structures in the U.S. 3. 18% of U.S. households are nuclear families: This is based on data from the U.S. Census Bureau. I established my private practice in 2012, a year after I graduated with my Masters in Counseling Psychology. A gratitude is owed to the veterans, DV survivors, at risk youth, individuals in recovery, divorcing couples, and every single client I had the privilege of serving. If it were not for their stories & their bravery, I would be naïve about life. Instead, I've been gifted a unfettered perspective of what is required to have peace of mind. It is that very vantage point that has afforded me the confidence to provide exceptional insight for unique clients who value: dignity, trust, partnership, and freedom.
0 Comments
 Why Investing $25,000 in Coaching is the Best Decision You’ll Ever Make
Let’s be honest—when it comes to life at the top, the stakes are high, and so are the pressures. As someone who’s built a thriving career, managed family responsibilities, and navigated complex relationships, you know success doesn’t just happen—it’s carefully cultivated. But, have you ever stopped to think about who’s supporting you as you continue to reach for even greater heights? That’s where I come in. I’ve been through my own process of refinement, failures, and triumphs, which has allowed me to become one of the most exclusive and exemplary coaches in the industry today. My journey wasn’t easy, but it’s what sets me apart from the countless voices in the personal development world. You won’t find any loud, brash motivational speeches here. I offer something different—quiet luxury, bespoke strategy, and real transformation. The Hidden Costs of Going It Alone If you're reading this, you already know the price of success. But have you considered the costs of doing everything by yourself? The toll it takes on your relationships, your health, and your ability to fully enjoy your achievements? The truth is, even the wealthiest and most accomplished among us hit walls. Whether it's feeling disconnected from your partner or simply losing the edge that once set you apart, these are signals that something more is needed. I've seen it time and time again—clients at the pinnacle of success who feel like they’re barely holding it together behind the scenes. Maybe your partner resents your 80-hour work weeks. Maybe your kids are growing up too fast, and you realize you don’t know them as well as you’d like. Or maybe you’re just tired of trying to juggle everything with no time left for yourself. Why Work with Me? My coaching isn’t about adding more noise to your already full life. It’s about creating space—space for clarity, connection, and sustainable growth. I’m not here to scream “rah-rah” at you. I’m here to guide you through a process of deep personal and relational evolution. It’s a process I’ve gone through myself, having lived coast to coast and built my own empire from the ground up, refining my expertise in communication, leadership, and family dynamics along the way. I know the unique challenges that come with wealth, power, and influence, and I work exclusively with people like you—those who are ready to truly invest in themselves. My clients are among the top 1%, from celebrities to elite athletes to high-level executives, and I understand the complexity of your world. The Power of Quiet Luxury What you get from working with me is much more than advice; it’s a carefully curated, high-touch experience that’s custom-tailored to your life and goals. Think of it as an investment in your most valuable asset—yourself. Unlike many motivational speakers who dominate the stage with volume and energy, my approach is different. It’s refined, intentional, and sophisticated—just like the lives of the people I work with. This isn’t about surface-level fixes; it’s about deep, lasting change that transforms how you show up for your family, your business, and yourself. Is $25,000 Worth It? I get it—$25,000 is a significant investment. But let me ask you this: What is your peace of mind worth? What is the value of strengthening your most important relationships? What’s the cost of not doing this work and allowing the cracks to widen? This investment is about more than just coaching sessions; it’s about access to someone who understands the pressures you face and can help you navigate them with grace and precision. It’s about ensuring that you don’t just maintain your success, but evolve into the kind of leader, partner, and parent that leaves a lasting legacy. Your Next Step If you’re ready to invest in your next chapter—one marked by intentional growth, deeper relationships, and an elevated experience of life—then it’s time we talk. I offer an initial consultation to help us design a vision together, and if we’re aligned, we’ll move forward with a custom engagement plan tailored specifically to you. For those looking for a truly transformative experience, $25,000 gets you six months of exclusive 1:1 coaching with me. Ready to step into your full potential? Book your consultation now, and let’s create something extraordinary together. —Rebekah **Powered by AI for SEO. 9/11/24  I'm sitting in a coffee shop—something I do often—in Erwin, Tennessee. The room has a sleek cabin aesthetic, great coffee roasts, and one table occupied by three older women: two with short hair and one with shoulder-length white hair. It's a typical small-town scene.
After taking a sip of my cooled coffee, I got up to go to the restroom and felt inspired to ask the group a question, “What is the meaning of life?” First, I asked if I could interrupt their conversation, and they kindly invited me to sit in the fourth seat at their table. I was dressed like a “bro,” wearing a bright blue hoodie and a flat-bill cap with the Colorado flag logo. I looked unassuming. I framed my question: “I’m writing an article for my counseling business, and I was wondering if I could get your perspective on what matters most in life.” The woman to my left looked through her black-framed glasses and said, “My relationship with the Lord.” I remained composed, but internally, her statement triggered the disdain I have for the South. Regardless, I listened as the woman across from me expanded on her answer. “My relationship with the Lord has carried me through everything.” The third woman remained silent. The consensus seemed to be that faith in God gave life its meaning. I wasn’t satisfied with that answer, because I believe that focusing on an afterlife is superfluous, especially since my career revolves around helping people deal with this life. So, I asked, “What else matters besides your relationship with God?” The woman to my left, a retired teacher, chimed in: “Family, and having a career that’s a contribution.” She confirmed my suspicions. We introduced ourselves, and I shared one of my taglines: “My parents died in my 20s, and I had to figure life out. Now I help others do the same.” Essentially, my career is a reaction to their death—a feeble attempt to make sense of life. When I share what I do and why I do it, I feel detached because I have to frame it in a way that demonstrates “benefit to others.” The women at the table were right: family, career, and spiritual relationships are fundamental to life. But this article isn’t about that. Most of us already know how important these things are. Further, billions of humans experience a gap between having a safe family, meaningful career, and substitute spirituality with drugs or porn. We’re so busy fearing that life will pass us by that we behave in ways that guarantee it will. Our best attempts at living often look like we’re trying to escape it. This is why, even though people find comfort in the idea of heaven, I feel it’s psychologically harmful. How does the notion that life will be perfect after we die—“No more sorrow, no more pain”—help any of us stay present for the day-to-day? It doesn’t. Life demands payment in time, resources, thoughts, feelings, and most importantly, in our relationships. You might not fully grasp what I’m saying, especially in 2024, when literacy is declining. Alongside this is the erosion of work ethic, the institution of marriage, and the depth of community; bowling leagues, sewing circles, and meaningful connections have all but vanished. In their place, we have our devices, which remove us from life more often than they connect us to it. We all understand concepts like J.O.Y. (Jesus, Others, You), which reflects what matters in life, but we also know what tears it apart. This article is meant to shake the reader awake: slap yourself in the face and scream, “I can’t believe this!” Instead of waiting for a crisis and then embracing “God” as a flotation device, imagine investing in understanding how to navigate life. This isn’t about “controlling outcomes”—what will be will be—but learning how to live intentionally requires the same investment as university: thousands of dollars and years of effort. I am the gold standard in the personal development industry because I am unencumbered by the conniving overlords that control insurance. I’m not impinged upon as a therapist who is overwhelmed by a massive caseload, where data entry takes precedence over client care. I position myself as a public figure because attention is the new MVP, but my intention is to provide meticulous care for my clients. My devotion to extraordinary client care is so deep that I sift through the sea of people who remain stuck in mediocrity, convinced that life can only be afforded through poverty, destruction, and chaos. My services are for people who understand that investing $25,000 is more than just about money—it’s an affirmation that peace of mind is a priority. It’s an aspiration. You become an example of protecting your family’s well-being through personal development. You stand as a beacon of hope because you’re committed to your spiritual practice. You won’t be “outworked” in your career, shifting from seeking promotion to becoming someone others are drawn to. The intangible qualities of life provide security, instill confidence, and inspire mastery. A therapist can’t hold a candle to the depth and scope of what I offer. To best communicate with people who understand that life is priceless until you put a price on it, I’ve labeled myself a “Relationship Coach.” It's a sufficient title meant to articulate the value of investing into what's priceless. I offer my clients guidance that preserves what matters most.  Admittedly, I come from humble beginnings. In fact, the theme that runs through most of the content I’ve created and shared with the world is a story of a kid who didn’t know how to grow up. Further, the world is a noisy place, full of vulgarity and fickle acceptance.
I was relentlessly searching for a place to belong. Can you imagine how it feels to seek mentors, only to end up watching hours of YouTube clips or reels instead? I know I’ve been guilty of attempting to access significance through being “busy." In fact, there were times when I was so busy distracting myself that I neglected to take care of myself. I wanted someone else to do it. Even though I was lost—never quite fitting in, often uncouth, and at times frenetic—I always made an effort to tell the truth. I made several attempts to "escape life" by distracting myself with meaningless hookups, moving every few years, and indulging in mindless entertainment. I share this to say that it has taken many years to refine my craft, define my brand, and polish my rough edges. At times, I felt tortured by life, as if it were taunting me with what was possible. I fell victim to complaining, comparison, and compliance. I didn’t know what I was rebelling against—just that, as an act of self-preservation, I needed to question everything. What I discovered is that if you question existence long enough, you will find yourself. I'm in the midst of my personal and professional renaissance. Candidly, I know my brand has undergone several—if not a ridiculous number of—transformations, mostly because I was fused to it. My confusion was reflected in how I represented the brand. My frustration and anger often spilled out on social media in a reckless, almost petulant manner. It wasn't a good look. I’ve had to clean up many of my past transgressions, to the point where I realized I had internalized abuse so deeply that I was chasing away the life of my dreams. I was betraying my innate gifts and, therefore, betraying myself. Worst of all, in an attempt to be noticed, I turned myself into a clown—much like brash rock stars do when they first “arrive on the scene.” Even Madonna had a shelf life. However, there is something enduring about quiet elegance and sophisticated luxury. I share all of this to say that we can be given the world and still throw it away by taking what is sacred and making it profane. In other words, if we can’t trust ourselves to be dignified, who can we trust? Living a Dignified Life My coaching services and career path were born of necessity. I didn’t know what else to do, so I relied on raw instinct and experimentation to arrive where I am today. My standards reflect an obsession with excellence, meaning my clients are at the core of every consideration and every process. I’m not interested in living a sub-par life. Yet, one of my most formidable obstacles has been the illusion that I could rely on others. I believe we strive for guarantees in our relationships because it gives us peace of mind. One would be fortunate to sustain trustworthy relationships throughout their lifetime. For example, we get married for the promise of forever. We have children for the promise of a happy family. We invest years of our lives in higher education to secure well-paying careers. We buy houses hoping they will become homes. We go to church or engage in religious practices to save our souls. However, nothing is promised. What I do know for sure is that I have the capacity to form lasting relationships. However, the frequency of connection is often lacking. It seems we often trade one thing for another, when what we truly desire is to participate in and cultivate things that stand the test of time. I intend to stand as an example of what it means to be trustworthy, and that knowledge has become a defining force in my life. Most understand this as legacy. Conversely, we live in a “throw-away” culture, where the process is discarded for the outcome. But there are the rare few who maintain their dignity through the continued curation of excellence in all aspects of life. We have brands like Rolex, Hermès, Dior, and Aston Martin that exemplify refinement, reliability, and a robust reputation. To the untrained eye or the vulgar individual, these brands may simply represent status or wealth. But the discerning individual who aligns with values of durability, precision, exemplary craftsmanship, and innovative creativity understands what it means to be a beacon of sophistication. In a phrase, “Our word is our bond. So, I give you my word to be true, so that you can rely on me for your peace of mind.  Many of us have been reduced to a LinkedIn bio. We show up at conventions, are introduced on stage by an MC, or have repeated our elevator pitch so many times that it has become our identity. I think a lot about identity and how it relates to our relationships. As I write this, I am guided by a singular yet profound value: trustworthiness. In question form, how can you trust me if you don’t know who I am?
When I was in fourth grade, I wanted to be a fashion designer, but my parents didn’t encourage that dream. Instead, I was absorbed into the family business and worked various odd jobs on the path to becoming a Relationship Coach. Now, well into my 40s, my life has followed the template my parents instilled in me from a very young age: in all things, put family first unless it makes sense to be selfish. My father contributed to this template through gambling, clandestine affairs, hypocritically smoking while being a chiropractor and professed wellness guru. My mother contributed by being a martyr who prioritized the family above herself. In simple terms, my parents had good intentions but were both liars. I don’t fault them; rather, I understand that, in some ways, the world demands we lie and con ourselves and others to gain access to things we think will make us happy. Optimism is delusion. I’ve written this line more times than I can recall: my parents died in my 20s. I’ve never been able to quantify the impact their deaths have had on me. All I know is that in lieu of having my family, I’ve had to be selfish. Instead of designing clothes, I design lifestyles. I’m consumed by examining existence; mine has been marked by a persistent existential dread. I think about death daily—my own death, the possibility of humans going extinct. I’m soothed by the guarantee that I will go extinct, while simultaneously threatened by the notion that I won’t have lived up to my full potential in my lifetime. Ghosts are not just apparitions; they are the shrapnel of regret. I’ve never been married, yet in a cruel twist of fate, I help people preserve their marriages. I balk at those on their third marriage, given that educated people like myself struggle to even have one. But then I’m reminded that the dating pool often favors con artists, liars, cheats, and morally corrupt individuals. Furthermore, the origin of disordered behavior can often be traced to how much it was rewarded. If we praise the psychopath with attention, we affirm such traits and weave them into the fabric of our society. It’s sick, and I’m sick of it. Yet, in another cruel twist of fate, rather than being protected and cared for by a healthy family unit, I scrap and scrape by on my own while also teaching people how to protect their family unit. Furthermore, this is the source of my income. But in a moment of clarity, I recognized that very few people belong in my chosen family. I’ve learned through experience that I couldn’t have come to clarity without experience. When you are lonely, most attempts at survival are desperate. I’ve been vulnerable and naive, which primed me to take bad advice. I was searching for mentors and ended up online, listening to motivational clips from men I’ll never meet. I don’t want that for the people in my life. I don’t want them to “know of me.” Historically, we relate to others through the stories they tell about their lives. There is a theme that can be extracted from their narratives. It becomes like a cinema that reflects our lives back to us through witnessing how others perform. But I don’t want my life to be a performance. Nonetheless, the digital format in which I express my thoughts turns me into a performer. The line between education and entertainment has been recklessly blurred as the world moved classrooms and boardroom meetings online. I’m not powerful enough to eradicate this current zeitgeist. However, I can assert my awareness. I am candid about the many mistakes I’ve made in my life, and a friend pointed out how dangerously close I’ve come to defining myself through those mistakes. Her perspective shifted mine. I recognize that I’m responsible for how I articulate myself. If I believe I am a failure, then I will spend my life proving I’m not. That stance has hindered me from engaging with the life I purport to want. It has also brought to light that I have not forgiven myself for the mistakes I’ve made. That lack of forgiveness acts as a burden that requires me to wear emotional armor, project a façade, and cling to what is familiar. I’m not just a relationship coach—that’s the title of my occupation. What I really am is a leader who has slogged through the trenches of loneliness, despair, catastrophic disappointments, and deceptive, sometimes abusive, men. Rather than kowtow to the crushing pressures of life, I’ve constructed a way to thrive. I tell the truth. The truth will set you free. Hence, I am Rebekah Freedom. Elevate Your Legacy with Rebekah Freedom: Tailored Relationship Coaching for the Elite
Let's talk about success and the cost it can sometimes bring. You've worked hard, achieved so much, and built a life that many only dream of. But with that success comes the pressure of maintaining not just your professional achievements but also the personal relationships that matter most. This is where I come in—offering exclusive, invitation-only relationship coaching for those who are serious about securing their future and preserving their legacy. Who Works with Me? My clients are very much like those who purchase luxury brands such as Rolex. They’re successful, affluent individuals who value precision, quality, and the preservation of what they've built. Typically, my clients are between 35 and 65 years old—executives, entrepreneurs, and professionals who have mastered their careers but want to ensure that their personal lives reflect the same level of excellence. You lead a sophisticated lifestyle, making strategic decisions every day in your business. It only makes sense to bring that same level of care and foresight into your personal relationships. Like a Rolex, which symbolizes success and endurance, my coaching is an investment in the longevity and resilience of your most valuable asset—your family. Why My Clients Seek My Expertise The reason clients come to me is simple: they want to protect and enhance what they’ve worked so hard to build. You're committed to preserving the strength of your relationships because you know they are integral to the legacy you’ll leave behind. The thought of losing everything due to unresolved personal issues is not something you take lightly, and that’s why you seek out expert guidance. I understand that you're serious about your future, and that’s why my coaching is by invitation only. This ensures that those who work with me are truly committed to the process and ready to invest in achieving lasting results. What Makes My Coaching Different? I’m more than just a coach—I’m your trusted advisor. My approach to relationship coaching is meticulous, personalized, and designed to address the unique challenges you face. Just like a Rolex, crafted with precision and attention to detail, my coaching is tailored specifically for you. I provide you with the tools and strategies you need to navigate the complexities of your personal relationships, ensuring that your legacy is one of strength, unity, and enduring success. Discretion, loyalty, and professionalism are paramount in my work. Many of my clients choose to work with me long-term, appreciating the bespoke nature of the services I offer. They know that my approach is designed to meet their specific needs, and they trust me to guide them through the challenges they face. Let’s Talk About Your Future If you're serious about your future and ready to invest in preserving what matters most, I invite you to consider an initial consultation with me—remember, this is by invitation only. True leadership extends beyond the boardroom and into your home, where the stakes are highest. With my guidance, you can be confident that your relationships will be as strong and enduring as the legacy you’ve worked so hard to build. ***This post has been generated by AI in an effort to boost my SEO. The content of the post is accurate.  Marriage is an LLC
As of 2023, 6.6% of the US population, or 22 million people, are millionaires. This is the largest number of millionaires in the world, with China and France following with 6 million and 2.9 million, respectively. The average net worth of a US millionaire is $2.2 million. (Google search, 1.26.24 2:37pm EST). That equates to having to pay around 800K a year in taxes for a married couple. According to chatGBT the average cost of a divorce for high net-worth individuals can range from 50K to a quarter-million dollars. These data points highlight one if not many reasons it is imperative to have a relationship coach. Of course I am biased. However, that is based on my experience witnessing my clients endure devastation because they waited until it was too late to nurture their relationships. I’ve said it once and I will say it here, “Marriage is an LLC.” This means it requires articles of organization, which include the marriage license, banking statements, housing documents, daily budget, household schedule, planned vacations, stock portfolios, real-estate investments, aging parents’ medical records, and many other items that pertain to a well run relationship. Romance is overrated. In fact, it’s the place where con-artists thrive because grand-gestures provoke irrational justifications of shifty behavior. Pop culture has labeled this “Love Bombing”. It’s a dog and pony show. In other words, it’s easy to desire the title of partner but only be prepared to take on the responsibilities of an employee. In the early stages of a relationship people will inflate their contribution and exaggerate their capabilities. It’s a trick and a trap. However, if you approach a relationship for what it is, a contract to share resources then you can get “R.O.R.”--return on relationship, which is a phrase my friend Jennifer coined (all rights reserved.) So, let’s say you have been married and you fell for the sexy part of the relationship thinking you were handing your life over to your best friend. But, time passes. Kids come into the picture and the division of domestic labor isn’t fair. Resentments start to build up. Soon we are griping about our spouses like an employee gripes about a bad boss. “They expect 18 hours of work from me with shit for pay.” “I am totally looked over and exploited.” “I might just leave. I bet they wouldn’t even care.” And you know what, those are all valid complaints with the same derivative. The structure that formed the relationship cannot sustain the relationship. Back to the drawing board. Maybe one person is sick and tired of compromising for sex. Not just having sex, but the performance in its entirety. Some people try to “spice it up” only to complicate things more. Fucking your way to forgiveness is a terrible relationship strategy, although I’ve seen in work in the business sector. Point being, you are going to have to restructure and decide on your relational “brand identity”. A huge part of having amassed wealth is the reputation you create on the way up the ladder. When people gossip about your relationship, it can be corrosive to your bottom line. So, as much as the typical advice is “Be yourself” and “DGAF”, word of mouth travels in both positive and negative directions. We manage the narrative through integrity. None of this can be accomplished without guidance. Financial advisors spend their day tracking the market and helping their clients make investments. Well, I track behavior, communication styles, primal urges, and con-artist techniques so that I can best advise my clients on how to navigate their life in a way that connects them with purpose and meaning. I hope you use this article to reflect on how your family is structured. Is it an S-corp, LLC, sole proprietorship, B-corp, 503C, or like an organized crime syndicate? As you age, your relationship will require extensive audits. If you remain single, audits of why you are single happen at the rate the iPhone releases a new model. Regardless, life is about transforming chaos into order. As a trusted advisor, I will guide you to run your life and relationships like a Fortune 500 company. References:
Facing Reality to Live Your Best Life It’s Friday. My friend put her dog to sleep a day ago. On June 27, 2024, we just had the first presidential debate in the USA between a convicted felon and a geriatric, senile senior. Rent prices in San Diego, California, are $3,000 and up for a one-bedroom in a rough neighborhood. Any rational person could conclude, “The world is fucked.” I don’t have coaching clients today, so I woke up around seven in the morning, weighed myself, and drank coffee to ameliorate the brain fog from the delta-8 edible I took last night. I feel completely disillusioned by life and struggle to find the point of it all. Honestly, this isn’t depression; it is oppression with the illusion of autonomy. In other words, I feel crushed under the weight of dystopia. There is a totalitarian regime that runs the world via the internet. I’m not even sure what is fact and fiction any longer. AI is unleashed and, in some ways, unhinged. There are now apps where AI schedules every moment of your day. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that’s grooming. Nonetheless, this is where we are in the evolution of “human” existence. We are either influencers or being influenced. We either work as employees or are managed through our tax brackets, loopholes notwithstanding. Granted, more humans are living longer than ever. I don’t think that’s a good thing. I know the rainforests, oceans, and anywhere animals had a home that have been turned into subdivisions have not benefited from the proliferation of chimps with a vocabulary, which is what most humans are. We celebrate celebrities, call people heroes who are not, and idolize billionaires. Why? What have they actually contributed to the salvation of our souls? As a cruel irony, blind innovation, such as cloning, AI, and plastic, yields proportional amounts of devastation weighted against their benefits. The price of innovation is isolation. Men are on the verge of being rendered useless. Women continue to be cogs in the global wheel of servitude to structures defined by men. Then there is the cultural and figurative “Island of Dr. Moreau” that we live in; a story about an island inhabited by a mad scientist who created human-like hybrids. I’d argue that psychologically, 80% of the planet is a human-like hybrid ruled by instinct, distorted reality, rationalization, and blood-lust impulses. The lust for power is evident in organizations like Black Rock, Vanguard, and the World Economic Forum. It’s no wonder we are all slowly going insane and masking it under the normalization of ADHD, depression, anxiety, and information on narcissistic pathology that consumes factions of the world wide web, which is readily accessible to anyone with a device. All this to say, your life is a lotto. For some, it’s a gas station scratcher ticket worth a few hundred dollars. For others, it’s owning the Bellagio, being a sultan, or coming from a pedigree bloodline. My bloodline ensured I’d have just enough trauma paired with just enough neglect that I landed on the low end of mediocre. Yet, I’m tasked with “living my best life.” Dare I say, “A great life.” What the fuck does that even mean? I’d venture to guess most people would answer in one of two ways: 1. The experiences we have this lifetime/Relationships. 2. Being rich and doing the shit you want to do. But, I’m part of the educated “slave” class, so the real answer is, “Be of service.” Once you realize the “house always wins,” the lotto that is your life comes down to the game you are playing. Are you a “slots” person? Are you a “craps table” person? Are you a “poker” person? Or do you just dabble with “Keno”? Regardless, you are playing a game. Some people opt out by succumbing to drug addiction. Some choose violence. Some of us can only play the hand we're dealt. Some of us become dealers. I’ve had to reconcile the fact I’m born a white woman in America to a middle-class family, and that my chosen vocation is ironic at best. Moreso, if my life were a screenplay, it would be a satire where the “main character” is a relationship coach who has never been married, had kids, or had a stable relationship in two decades of dating. All this to say, fate is a cruel mistress. Further, there is a fine line between acquiescing to the reality we stand in and accepting the trajectory of our path. I’m 44 now. I still feel the angst I did when I was a teenager, but the rebellion that once defined my behaviors has just turned into a whimper of desire for something better. When I coach people, I do my best to help them face reality; not as they would have it be, but for what it is. Sometimes it’s total crap, unfair, unjust, and disgusting. Other times, it fuels envy, jealousy, comparison, and enmity. Many people cope with reality by “manifesting” the life they want, which can also mean blaming the planets for outcomes, moods, and relationship dynamics. Or we just embrace our lot in life. We just go, “Okay, I’m an insurance salesperson in Tulsa, Oklahoma with 1.5 kids and a wife who is bored of me,” or whatever other template you want to apply. We are a copy of a copy of a copy, to the degree it’s predicable. I wrote this article in honor of reality. It’s not special. Everything you are feeling, thinking, or doing, everyone has already done before or at least strong comparisons can be made. So, then what? Well, don’t get fat. Don’t be lazy. Don’t be entitled. Do be responsible for your tiny corner of the world and get good with being forgotten in 100 years. At best, you will make a difference. At worst, you won’t. The whole point of this exercise of incarnation is to learn to love; face reality head-on and love your fate--Amore Fati.  The Toxic Tango: How Addiction Can Poison Your Relationship
Are you stuck in a toxic tango, feeling the strain of addiction on your relationship? It's time to face the music and recognize the correlation between addiction and relationship distress. Whether it's substance abuse or porn addiction, these destructive habits can wreak havoc on your love life. Let's start with substance use. Picture this: you and your partner used to be inseparable, but now it feels like you're living parallel lives. The truth is, addiction doesn't just affect the individual—it seeps into every aspect of your relationship. From broken promises to financial strain, substance abuse can erode trust, communication, and intimacy faster than you can say "rehab." But don't think porn addiction gets off the hook that easily. In today's digital age, porn is everywhere, tantalizing and tempting with just a click. While it may seem harmless at first, excessive porn use can distort your perception of intimacy and sexual fulfillment. Your partner may feel betrayed, inadequate, or even objectified, leading to feelings of resentment and disconnection. Now, let's cut to the chase. If you're nodding your head, recognizing the signs of addiction in your relationship, it's time to take action. But fear not, because there's hope on the horizon. Meet Rebekah Freedom, your guide to breaking free from the toxic tango of addiction and reclaiming your relationship. Rebekah Freedom isn't your average relationship coach. With a no-nonsense attitude and a wealth of experience, she'll help you navigate the rough waters of addiction with compassion, understanding, and a dash of tough love. From creating healthy boundaries to rebuilding trust, Rebekah will empower you and your partner to rewrite your love story on your own terms. So, are you ready to kick addiction to the curb and reignite the spark in your relationship? It's time to take the first step toward healing and transformation. Don't let addiction call the shots any longer—coach with Rebekah Freedom and reclaim the love and connection you deserve. Ready to break free from the toxic tango? Book your coaching session with Rebekah Freedom today and let's dance to the rhythm of love once again.  PROGRAMING OUR MINDS: An exploration of the traits of religious trauma.
Some bodies are born “gay” in that they have genetic anomalies that create distinct hormone signatures and therefore expressions. Other bodies have environmental pressures that shift gene expression in such a way that adaptive behaviors display as “traits”. The nature/nurture argument is ongoing and can be applied in a sociological exploration of religion as well. The region of America known as the “South” has traits that some view as Christian religious values. From my perspective, these traits are more in alignment with Cluster B personality disorders. That is to say, the fundamental belief that “Non-believers will burn in the pit of hell” is narcissistic at best. The celebration of human sacrifice, wearing a crucifix as jewelry, and claiming admonishment from sin through the blood of Jesus is something that seems more like occult practices than it does a base for morality. Admittedly, as a student of psychology, philosophy, and biology, I can see the use for aspects of religion that are healthy, such as having an in-group or “tribe” to belong to. However, I also hold a strong bias that is more consistent with Freud's assertions on religion: In "The Future of an Illusion" (1927), Freud wrote: "Our knowledge of the historical worth of certain religious doctrines increases our respect for them, but does not invalidate our proposal that they should cease to be put forward as the reasons for the precepts of civilization. On the contrary! Those historical residues have helped us to view religious teachings, as it were, as neurotic relics, and we may now argue that the time has probably come, as it does in an analytic treatment, for replacing the effects of repression by the results of the rational operation of the intellect."4 The challenge is that, as philosopher Sam Harris asserted, “Many who claim to have been transformed by Christ’s love are deeply, even murderously, intolerant of criticism” ( https://www.samharris.org/blog/reply-to-a-christian; 1/16/24). On its face, we can see the irony of such behavior. Nonetheless, it’s unacceptable to me as a practitioner that helps people acknowledge, understand, and somatically process trauma while maintaining a structurally safe environment in session that can be applied in each of my client’s lives. In other words, I provide a space where the abuses experienced from religious leaders can be spoken about without reservation. To me, this seems like a rational evolution of being a Relationship Coach in the South. I feel a responsibility to invite people to explore how their self-esteem has been impacted through their exposure to religious dogmas. Further, I would be remiss to remain in denial about the harm “Faith Based” therapeutic practitioners can inflict should they blindly align with the beliefs listed below: Baptist Christianity encompasses a range of beliefs, and there may be variations among different Baptist denominations. However, here are some core beliefs that are often associated with Baptist Christianity: 1. Authority of Scripture: Baptists generally believe in the authority of the Bible as the inspired and infallible Word of God. They look to the Scriptures for guidance in matters of faith and practice. 2. Salvation by Faith Alone: Baptists typically emphasize salvation through faith in Jesus Christ alone, rather than through good works. This aligns with the Protestant doctrine of justification by faith. 3. Believer's Baptism: One distinctive feature of Baptists is their belief in believer's baptism, which means that individuals are baptized only after making a personal profession of faith in Jesus Christ. 4. Autonomy of the Local Church: Baptists often uphold the autonomy of the local church, meaning that each individual congregation is self-governing and makes decisions independently. 5. Priesthood of All Believers: Baptists affirm the priesthood of all believers, emphasizing that each Christian has direct access to God and can interpret the Scriptures under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 6. Separation of Church and State: Many Baptists advocate for the separation of church and state, believing that the church should not be controlled or influenced by governmental authorities. 7. Congregational Polity: Baptist churches typically operate under a congregational polity, where the congregation has a significant role in decision-making processes. 8. Evangelism and Missions: Baptists often prioritize evangelism and missions, seeking to spread the message of the Gospel and make disciples of all nations. The programming of our minds is the inheritance of each child from their parents and from their society. Many of us have been indoctrinated into obscure cult-like structures that are given a shiny veneer. When we get our worldview reinforced instead of challenged, the practice of rhetoric and critical thinking gets traded for unquestioned allegiance. It’s my assertion, harm can come from with working with a “Faith based” mental health practitioner who can reinforce cult-like belief systems, Cults are often characterized by certain traits that distinguish them from mainstream religious or social groups. It's important to note that the term "cult" can be subjective, and not all groups exhibiting these traits are necessarily harmful. However, some common traits associated with cults include: 1. Authoritarian Leadership: Cults typically have a charismatic and authoritarian leader who holds significant power and influence over the members. The leader's decisions are often unquestioned, and dissent is discouraged. *For instance a loud pastor that yells his sermons, spits with fervor, and evokes emotional escalation in his congregation. 2. Isolation and Control: Cults may isolate their members from the outside world, limiting their contact with friends, family, or information that contradicts the group's beliefs. This isolation can make it challenging for members to critically evaluate the group's teachings. 3. Manipulation and Deception: Cults often use manipulative tactics, such as mind control, emotional manipulation, or deception, to influence and control their members. This can involve distorting information, making false promises, or creating a sense of dependency on the group. 4. Exclusive Beliefs: Cults tend to have exclusive and often extreme beliefs that set them apart from mainstream society. These beliefs may involve apocalyptic visions, a special mission, or a claim to possess unique spiritual insights. 5. Exploitation: Cults may exploit their members financially, emotionally, or physically. This can include pressuring members to donate large sums of money, engaging in forced labor, or subjecting them to physical or psychological harm. *chatgpt 1/16/24. It doesn’t take much to draw a comparison between the evangelical practices and cult traits. Moreover, we can, with rational application of thought, draw a parallel between cult leaders dispositions and cluster B personality traits as listed below: Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD):
Lastly, the South has one of the richest resources for energy production–coal–and the poorest population of people. Is it possible, generational poverty, exploitation that rivals civil atrocities, introduction of opiates, and ripping apart families in the name of “protecting children '' have created a sub-culture of people who are easy prey for controlling religious leaders who are purporting hope? Might we be able to assert faith without bigotry? Can we repair the divide through empowering each person to embrace their autonomy and responsibility to be good stewards of their bodies? I certainly hope so! To engage in conversation with me on this topic please email: [email protected] or use my calendar to book a session. |
True Leadership:I'll do my best to write about real world issues that stress us out and provide solutions to manage life successfully. Archives
September 2024
Categories |
RSS Feed